It is very hard to not let having autism stop me from doing the things I want to do, it would be much easier at times to just give in.
A little back story first. For years I have been in relationships with people who, for different reasons, stopped me being able to do things I wanted to do in life. One guy never had any money so we never went anywhere, one only ever wanted to spend weekends going on nights out so never got to do what I wanted and the last one was the worst of the bunch. He was narcissistic and controlling, wanting to spend every waking moment together and attempting to cut me off from friends and family. After he left everything changed for me and I started meeting more supportive people and, after everything, my family was still there to support me. This was two years ago.
I have been with my boyfriend for 9 months now and he couldn’t give a monkeys if I want to go off and do things because he knows it’s something that’ll make me happy and we have a complete trust in each other. We get plenty of time together so the world isn’t going to end by me being away for a couple of days, we don’t feel the need to live in each other’s pockets.
In the past two years I spent a birthday in London staying at the Strand Palace Hotel and going to see the Aladdin musical, went to my first ever Pride celebration in my hometown and went to Monkey World with my mum. Monkey World was a bucket list trip for both of us as we have watched their tv show for years and we even got a photo with Jeremy from the show (and spent the rest of the day buzzing like schoolgirls!).
None of these experiences were easy for me to enjoy. For a week beforehand I have to make sure I eat and drink plenty so I’m not ill or rundown, start a list of things I need so I can add to it when I remember something and have plenty of rest and time indoors so I’m feeling as calm as can be when the event comes around. And then there’s the feeling afterwards. The complete exhaustion I have to spend a few days battling through and complete lack of activity in my body and brain. I have learnt to stock up on easy to make food and drinks for times like this so that I’m still getting nutrition.
Despite the preparation needed and knowing how I’m going to feel afterwards I’m refusing to let it stop me doing these things and I already have the next two events ready to go. In June I’m heading to Manchester to watch Soccer Aid at Old Trafford with my mum. We have watched it on tv every time it’s been on and always said we wanted to go and now we are. We have managed to get seats only three rows back from the side of the pitch, a lovely hotel booked down the road and now we just have to arrange train times and tickets (we live in different towns two hours apart so this requires planning so we get there around the same time). In July there’s heading back to my hometown again for the Pride event. Last year Alaska from Rupauls Drag Race performed and I’m a huge fan of the show so it was an amazing experience, I can’t wait to see what performers are there this year.
I have many more things I want to experience and places I want to travel to but I have no doubt that I will be able to do as many as possible. My other half has already said he wants to go to New Zealand for his 40th in four years time. I am terrified of flying but I get myself through it if it means a once in a lifetime trip to be experienced.
If I want to do all these amazing things I better get saving more money!