I Didn’t Realise I Disappeared

I think the title says it all. I haven’t written anything for the past three weeks and I hadn’t realised that it had happened (or not happened in this case).

I can only remember so much at any one time and I have had a lot to remember recently and that meant some things were forgotten along the way.

I was referred by the job centre to a place called Reed. Reed are a company that help get people back into employment. I don’t know if they solely work with people with disabilities but that is the impression that I am getting. This means that I have to be there once a week and, so far, my appointments are on Fridays. An appointment seems like only a small thing but one like this ends up taking up my whole day. Because of how long it takes to get to the appointment on public transport I usually get ready 2 hours before the appointment time, walk to the us stop, 50 minute bus journey and then walk to the appointment. Then the appointment takes 1 hour, walk back to the bus stop, 50 minute journey back to my town, walk back home. All in all this takes around 5 hours out of the day and using that much energy in one go (plus the added bonus of all the sensory input) I am useless for the rest of the day and it takes me the next day to recover.

I have been doing bonus videos on my Youtube channel which means writing a script, filming, editing and uploading 3 videos a week for the past few weeks. Each video takes a days worth of work to do.

Just those two activities have been taking up 5 days of the week (including recovery time) so then I have been using the extra 2 days to try and recover. But I have had a couple of other things to do in the past couple of weeks. I had a day with my two best girlfriends, my family came to visit one day and my partner and I took the kids to Yorkshire Wildlife Park for the day. As well as the drama of having internet troubles a couple of weeks ago and then losing my gas supply due to a faulty meter a few days ago.

This past weekend all of this ended up getting a bit too much for my energy levels to take and I spent last Saturday in bed recovering without even getting round to doing that days video. I had to skip it entirely to give myself a chance to rest and to take a bit of the pressure off myself. It wasn’t helped by my last appointment with Reed being cancelled at last minute (well, within 20 minutes of the appointment time and after I had already travelled for it).

Today (I am writing this on Tuesday) I am trying to use an opportunity to get things done. I am sitting around waiting for someone to come and do a house inspection but they could be here any time between 9am and 5:30pm. It’s now around 11am and I have been up since 5:30am finishing off some tidying. I figured while I wait I would catch up with anything I could and so I have finally gotten the opportunity to write something while I sit in an uncomfortable chair in the kitchen waiting for the knock on the door.
I have also managed to get part of my vlog edited for tomorrow (still needs a bit more filming to be done for that), had breakfast and made a large drink for the day so that I can keep myself as hydrated as possible.

A big complication to my energy levels has been a persistent illness problem that I need to get to the DR about. After finding out the hard way that I can no longer eat apples or grapes I have been suffering with a bout of gastro issues that don’t seem to be going away and I would like to finally know if there is some underlying condition that I could possibly get treatment for. It would also be nice to have something done before the symptoms become worse again.

As soon as this inspection is done I imagine the rest of my day will be spent getting a shower and then getting back into bed.


Author: AdultsWithAustism

I decided I wanted to do something positive with my life and speak out about what it feels like to be an adult with autism.

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