I’ve been unable to write, or do almost anything, for some time now. This has been due to the medication I was put on nearly a month ago and the side effects it had been giving me.
Medication, in its various forms, can be helpful and it can be integral for people to be able to live their life day-to-day. If you are not on the right medication then it can be more of a hinderance and this is what has been happening with me recently. Please don’t take this as being an anti-medication rant as it really isn’t. I’m a big believer in using medication if you need to and I’ve often needed medication to be able to function in the past but I don’t believe the type of medication I’m currently prescribed is right for me.
When I went to the drs last year because I was having panic attacks caused by my work place I was prescribed anti-depressants, I can’t remember which ones, and I took them but they didn’t have any effect on me. So I went back and told the dr I didn’t think I needed any anti-depressants as I was feeling better now I was out of the situation that made me ill but they prescribed me Citalopram anyway and encouraged me to take them. I didn’t but, after about a month, was urged by the dr to take them as they thought I would be better on them and advised giving it around 3 weeks before they would start to help. They haven’t helped, they’ve only made me worse.
At first they caused me to be sluggish and spend all day struggling to stay awake. I tried switching to taking them in the morning rather than at night but this made no difference. After about a week I noticed I was waking up sweaty, which I never have done before, and this became worse over time. The final straw was then my sleep being effected more and more. When I could get to sleep at a decent time the quality of it has been rubbish. I’m waking up at various times in the night and then being wide awake quite early, I’m having very vivid dreams that seem to last all night and I’m still spending most of my day struggling to stay awake.
All of this has meant my productivity level is at minimum, some days I’m barely eating or drinking as I’m completely unmotivated to move. In light of being told it’s very likely I have adhd it feels like the meds are messing with this and making it impossible for me to function.
The next step for me is another trip to the drs in the hope they might listen to me this time. I want to come completely off medication and see how I am for a couple of months. If I’m still struggling to get the things done that I need to then I’m hoping to discuss adhd medications instead.
The journey to get where I need to be is still far from over.