Firstly, apologies for having not posted anything recently but life has been a bit hectic and everything seemed to be happening at once. I’ve had numerous forms to fill out for various departments about how I am affected every day etc etc so I’ve been a little bit fed up of talking about Autism to be honest and everything was also getting a little bit overwhelming.
On the 5th of this month (yesterday as I am actually typing this) I finally had my autism assessment and I’ll get round to the details but I wanted to write a little about the build up, my feelings beforehand and what I was thinking.
I hadn’t been told what was going to happen during the appointment apart from it wouldn’t be anything invasive and to allow three hours for the assessment. As the time approached I became more and more nervous. I had to travel for an hour to get to where it was taking place, it was somewhere I had never been before and it would, obviously, be an appointment with someone I had never met before. These are three things that cause enough anxiety on their own but mix them all together and throw in having around 6 hours sleep and being on meds that make me exhausted all the time and it wasn’t a good combination.
Luckily, I was heading to a specialist appointment, which meant these people know what they are doing and what type of anxieties can arise from an appointment like this and they help you to be prepared. When receiving the appointment letter I also received a full sheet of information including directions on how to get to the centre, a picture to give a visual representation of the centre and what type of things to bring with me. This one sheet was a huge help and a lot of my fears were put to rest by it.
As I am someone who is always overly prepared I had a backpack full of things I ended up not needing but I felt comforted by just having them there with me plus it’s always better to have and not need than need and not have. I was also a good twenty minutes early to my appointment but my other half was with me so he tried to help me keep calm and help the time pass quicker. I had forgotten my headphones and there was a few people around so the noise was also starting to get to me and I actually did something I very rarely do. I actually was rocking while standing up, this is something I only ever do when I’m extremely agitated.
I had also started coming down with a throat infection so my jaw was hurting, I had toothache and my throat was really sore and I knew this appointment was going to be a long one so I was becoming worried that I wasn’t going to be able to give the answers I needed to and get my meaning of things across.
And then my name was called…