Don’t apologise for me

There are certain things I believe you shouldn’t do when it comes to autism and a big one is never apologise. Whether you are the person with autism or are with someone who is please don’t apologise for their autism.

Firstly, I’m not sorry for having autism. My autism makes me spontaneous, fun, slightly eccentric, full of fantastic quiz knowledge and many other things. So, on the days when my autism does something not perceived as socially acceptable, I’m not going to apologise for it. I’m feeling overwhelmed so leave a party early because that’s the best thing to do for my own well being? Not going to apologise. I’ll explain and go home but I’m not going to apologise for it.

Secondly, if I’m not sorry about it then you don’t need to be either. We’re out for a meal and my meal arrives with something on it I specifically asked not to have then damn right I’m sending it back and expecting a new meal. Mistakes happen but I don’t need someone to apologise on my behalf because of someone else’s mistake. You don’t see me apologising for you. Sorry about my neuro typical friend, he’s constrained by what society expects of them and that makes them incredibly boring when he won’t jump on a swing at 30+ years old!

Thirdly, if your child is having a meltdown in the middle of the street or shop and creating a huge scene then don’t apologise. What do you have to apologise for? Ignore everyone else who is tutting, staring and generally not helping the situation. They don’t exist in that moment. You and your child exist and are the most important people in that moment, do what you need to do to calm them down to make yours and their days easier.

Life with autism can sometimes be stressful enough without then taking on the little added stresses of apologising for the things you don’t need to apologise for. Autism is not going to apologise for existing, you don’t need to either.


Author: AdultsWithAustism

I decided I wanted to do something positive with my life and speak out about what it feels like to be an adult with autism.

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